Composition

Ikuto had been struggling for the last few weeks with writing a song for his next album. I wasn't sure why he was writing this song to begin with when he had a billion other things to focus on, but I'd be lying if I said that watching him agonize over a piano wasn't enjoyable. There was something pleasant about hearing the wrong keys and chord progressions being played over and over again coupled with awkward lyrics that didn't match with the timing. It was watching art on the making. I knew it drove him absolutely insane that he couldn't figure it out, but the one thing I liked about him was how he never gave up in spite of his frustrations.

It was late into the night when he kept hitting the same six ivory keys at various speeds while scribbling down notes on his sheets. I had prepared him a warm cup of chamomile tea and set it down on the little side table he had dragged over beside that expensive box of strings. I then took my own cup and sat down on the plush living room sofa that faced the piano as I quietly watched him have yet another breakdown. As much as I wanted to comfort him, Ikuto hated it because it would cause him to lose his train of thought.

He let out a very dejected sigh, threw his pencil at the metronome that was resting on top of the frame, picked up his cup of tea, and walked over to sit down beside me. He took a long sip from his cup before setting it down on the coffee table and then buried his head into my shoulder.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" I asked him. "Don't you have songwriters and producers at your agency?"

"The whole point of this album is to showcase that I can compose my own music," he explained. "I am not like the other idols out there that cannot even write their own choruses."

"Of course you're not," I reassured him, "but you're driving yourself mad."

"It is the theme that is the problem," he bemoaned. "It is a generic album centered around fantasy, but having such a limitless theme only makes it more difficult to narrow down the right melody and lyrics."

"Fantasy?" I was intrigued by the premise and instantly thought of an idea. "May I offer a suggestion, then?"

Ikuto lightly scoffed. "Pray tell."

"Well, I can't help you with the actual music part," I began, "but what about a song that tells the story of a forbidden love?"

"Do you not realize how common those kinds of songs are in this industry?" he mocked me.

"You didn't let me finish," I pouted. "I was going to say the story would focus on a secret love between a famous idol and someone who wasn't in the spotlight."

"So... A song about us," he concluded. "That is—"

"If you write from your experiences, it's easier to get into the flow of things," I interjected. "The song can be from your perspective and you can paint a fantasy between yourself and whoever ends up listening to the song. Make the listener think they're in a secret relationship with you."

"Hm..."

Ikuto got up and headed back to the piano and started to play another pop-like melody. He started humming along this time, which I hadn't heard from him since he started this process.

"A star where flowers bloom and the sky is blue—the one who is truly beautiful is you," he sang softly to himself as he continued to play.

I watched as he continued on, singing random bits of lyrics here and there before he concluded. Immediately after he hit the last note, he furiously wrote down the tune on his sheets until he had transcribed the entire song down to the last measure. He flipped through those pages to read them again, nodding as he went along.

"The lyrics may take another day, but at least the base instrumental is complete," he sighed.

"Wow, I can't believe Kimi-sama wrote a song about me," I joked as I imitated a typical stan of his.

"I must confess that it was a decent idea," he relented. "Unfortunately, I cannot give you any credit for very obvious reasons."

"I don't mind," I smiled. "Much like the rest of our relationship, it'll be our secret."

"And that does not bother you in the slightest?" he inquired.

"Who's even going to believe me if I said my boyfriend is the Kimijima Ikuto?" I shrugged. "What could I possibly gain from anyone else knowing about this? Deranged stans in my DMs harassing me and sending me death threats? You losing your career? Those don't seem like great outcomes."

"You do make a valid argument," he agreed. "Perhaps when I retire from this industry, we can think about it then."

"Well, I hope that's not happening anytime soon."

"I do not have any intentions of retiring now," he began, "but why do you say that?"

"If you quit now, I won't get to watch you go insane over the piano as you try to write another song anymore," I frowned. "I like that side of you since I know no one else will ever see it besides me."

Ikuto chuckled as he came back to the sofa to cozy up to me. "There are many sides of me that I only show to you, . Consider yourself blessed. Not even my fanclub members who pay a premium for my monthly photoshoots get to see it."

"I'm not a fan of Kimi-sama," I scoffed. "I'm a Kimijima Ikuto fan. I'm different."

"I was hoping that you would say you were my partner, but I suppose a fan will suffice," he said as he gave me a gentle kiss.

"I can't be both?"

"You will have to pick eventually," he teased. "Being my partner has better perks than being my fan. I do hope you choose wisely."